with Heath Ledger

Viewed April 18, 2009

With a movie like Casanova, it's not surprising that we spent a lot of time discussing relationships, sexual and otherwise. People shared a lot about past and current loves and the difficulties, disappointments, satisfactions and delights thereof. Someone said his inability to stay monogamous lost him the woman he considers the love of his life, and that he would take her back in a minute if she were ever willing. Another person said that being polyamorous has allowed him to create three loving relationships that are at this point solid and creative and extremely fulfilling.

But we also discussed how often we torpedo our own happiness by assuming that someone we're attracted to will turn us down if we were to ask them for a date, and/or that even if we did get involved with them that the relationship would turn out badly, and so we never even try. We decided that maybe we should TRY more often, or at least be willing to see the other person for who they really are instead of projecting our image onto them of who we think they are, whether it's a idealized image or a scary image based on painful relationships in our past.
(This video was reviewed by Bob McGarey)

Feel free to come and share your own personal insights sometime; the Saturday Night Video and Discussions here in Austin, Texas are a lot of fun and fascinating. (They're free, too.) Here are the questions the group came up with, based on the personal growth themes in the movie:


  1. What made me fall in love with a situation at first sight?
  2. How has lying worked for me?
  3. What kind of book could I write about my love life?
  4. How much do I let myself enjoy the pleasures of life?
  5. How monogamous am I, and why?
  6. How important is sex in my life, and what am I willing to sacrifice for it?
  7. How have/will I experience true love?
  8. What morality do I impose on others, and vice versa?
  9. How influenced am I by the people I'm around?