How the Grinch Stole Christmas

with Jim Carrey

Viewed December 15, 2001

One of the advantages of watching a kid's movie is that they are usually shorter, and therefore we get more time for discussion. Kid's movies are also usually less grueling emotionally, and so we have more emotional energy in reserve while we discuss the personal-growth themes from the movie. Both of those factors served us well tonight, because as soon as the movie ended we jumped right into creating and answering the questions and didn't take a breath until it was midnight.

One of the women in the group courageously answered Questions 8 and 2, saying that she had attracted relationships where guys wanted her "dead"; they wanted to keep her from really being herself. However, she attracted those relationships because she didn't like or accept herself either. She had been fed the myth as a child that she wasn't any good, and so in her relationships she recreated situations where people told her the same thing.

We talked about Question 7, how many small wisps of experiences often build up over time--kind of like cotton candy--and eventually get solid enough that we'll suddenly REALIZE what all those wisps have been hinting at. Two women said that moment came for them when they read the book "Women's Reality," and that it had been life-changing for them.

Someone commented about how important letting go is for recovering our childlike innocence (Question 5), whether it's letting go of relationships or jobs or other situations that don't support and heal us. Then someone mentioned Lilburn S. Barksdale's belief that the core cause of our suffering as humans is resisting reality. That led to the difficulty we often have had accepting people for exactly who they are, instead of trying to change them.

On Question 3, one female participant said she had burned her bra in the 1960's. However, all the women said loudly agreed when she said she really should have burned her pantyhose, not her bra! (Apparently we men don't realize how much pantyhose ride up on the female form and constrict freedom of expression....) Finally, one participant shared how she has been able to accept her son even though he's been a bit of an outcast, and in the process she learned how much wisdom and idealism he has within him.

Here are the questions:


  1. How do I recover when someone invalidates me and I buy into it?
  2. How do I perpetuate the myth of "Who I am?" that was given to me?
  3. What have I learned from the outcasts of society?
  4. How do I deal with being different?
  5. How have I recovered the joy of childlike innocence and expressed it creatively?
  6. How am I different when I'm believed in? How do I affect people when I believe in them?
  7. What experiences have fundamentally changed my values?
  8. What have my romantic relationships been like, and what have they said about me?