with Ellen Page

Viewed June 21, 2008

Not surprisingly, after this movie about teen pregnancy we talked a lot about relationships, and especially about how durable (or non-durable) they are and whether we can count on them for our "happily ever after" (Questions 1 and 5). In particular, we explored how to maintain a relationship without losing ourselves or our sense of what's really important to us. Do we need to compromise, and if so, how much? How much is too much? Is there a way to refrain from losing track of the things that are most important to us while we're in a relationship?

Some people said that they thought that relationships -- truly healthy ones -- may only be sustainable for a few years because everyone is growing and changing, and the person we connect with initially is, in fact, a different person several years later. Others thought that if we keep communicating with each other and maintain a focus of respect for each other, we can keep a healthy relationship going for much longer. The key seems to be staying clear about our values rather than giving them up for the person we love. This is especially true since some of us (especially women, especially Southern women) were raised to be subservient, and it's hard to break out of that.
(This video was reviewed by Bob McGarey)

Feel free to come and share your own personal insights sometime; the Saturday Night Video and Discussions here in Austin, Texas are a lot of fun and fascinating. (They're free, too.) Here are the questions the group came up with, based on the personal growth themes in the movie:


  1. How do I react to major unexpected life changes?
  2. What can I do to be part of a healthy, drama-free network?
  3. When I turn my cheek when others are being absolute jerk-offs, what the hell is the matter with me?
  4. How directly do I face my difficult situations in life?
  5. What would it look like for me to live "Happily Ever After" in a relationship?
  6. How do I communicate my problems to others, especially family members?
  7. What are the complications of getting what I really want?
  8. How do I react to overbearing people who want/try to run my life?