The Ramen Girl

with Brittany Murphy

Viewed July 10, 2010

Question #8. We started with Question #8 because we had already started talking about it while writing the questions on the flip chart. The first part of this topic was 'When I get angry at something that has happened, do I blame others or do I think that it was all probably my fault?' Either reaction is an extreme. Pam and Bob do each of these reactions. Pam blames others, goes away, thinks about it and then realizes her part in whatever has happened. Bob blames himself, and is getting better about figuring out the role that others play in the situation.

We each have specific ideas of how we need to be or feel, or act when something unpleasant occurs. Some of us have been working on our reactions to get to a more balanced place. It does seem to take work.

But what if there no other option? We often believe that we have to shut down completely emotionally when we feel there aren't any options, and that is incredibly damaging to us.

One of us said that when he can't see any options, he would start making up imaginary options. After a while, he can begin to see options where there hadn't been any before.

Question # 5. One guy said that he was so affected by the part of the movie where the chef's mother told the girl to put her heart into her food. Now he is going to try to start putting love into jobs around the house, like pruning the bushes.

Question # 4. Maybe we have to give up the belief that we don't have any options, in order to start finding and living our passion.

Question #2. Whenever I share my heart, I am saying that I have something of value to share, and in fact that I AM something of value to share.

One person talked about being "visible," and how scary that is, but it is part of sharing our heart. Being visible confirms -- to myself -- that I have something worthwhile to share with the world. Being visible lets people see who I am, and that may draw some disapproval or negative attention. In order to feel OK about being visible, I have to be OK with other people dismissing things that I hold dear.

We often finish the discussion with "highlights," and this evening the coolest highlight was probably when one person pointed out how we had each been putting our "heart" into the "soup" of the discussion by sharing meaningful experiences with each other, and how much a difference it makes for each of us to have people willing to share such heartfelt experiences with each other.
(This video was reviewed by Pam Chambers)

Feel free to come and share your own personal insights sometime; the Saturday Night Video and Discussions here in Austin, Texas are a lot of fun and fascinating. (They're free, too.) Here are the questions the group came up with, based on the personal growth themes in the movie:


  1. How have I blamed myself incorrectly for things that have happened in my life?
  2. How do I benefit from sharing my heart?
  3. How do I cleanse my soul in my life?
  4. What do I need to feel/give up/believe to find my passion in life?
  5. How so I get to THE LOVE?
  6. How can feeling that my pain is acceptable help me be more effectual with others?
  7. What happens inside of me when people dismiss what's important to me?
  8. Why don't I get angry when people dismiss what's important to me?